Monday, August 18, 2014

Thoughts

Sometime in the last two years, I made myself a list. It wasn't a normal grocery list or a to-do list. It was a list of things that I felt I had been failing at in my personal life. Things that I sucked at. Things that I thought I could be doing better. It was all of my personal misgivings neatly stored together as one little note on my phone.

I'm ashamed to say that it wasn't that long ago that I deleted that list from my phone.

It's easy - perhaps because I'm a woman or perhaps merely because I am human - to begin a cycle of self-loathing. Mine often begins with the way I look and spirals into hating myself for everything that I am incapable of or doing less-well than someone else.

It's frustrating, isn't it? To live in a society that makes the definition of who you are dependent on what you look like and how much you weigh. Even more frustrating because we give in to it. I give in to it.

I'm working on it, on the one hand. I'm working to eat right and train right. And that's great and it's important. But I think the more important part is changing my mind. Changing the way I view myself. Changing the way I view others.

I wish we could change the saying to "Living up to your potential is the new skinny" or "Doing the best you can is the new strong."

But then again, that's quite a few more words, isn't it?

1 comment:

  1. pffff babydoll you ARE beautiful, your personality has always just been the silver lining since the day I met you. You are a rare gem of a human and even though time and distance has done it's thing, I'll always think of you as that.

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